Basil, Beets or turnips, Frisee endive , Garlic scapes, Kohlrabi, Lettuce, Parsley, Scallions, Squash
As a man of faith in myself deeply cognizant of my many and various duties, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize. I have let down my farm, my workers, CSA members, farmers, vegetables eaters, citizens of this great nation, people of the world and several rows of eggplants. I am deeply humbled by how many people, significant and powerful and hungry people, I have let down—more people, I dare say, than anyone else has previously let down. And I have been able to let down so many so quickly, let me note for slower members of the audience, because so many looked to me for guidance on a whole host of topics, topics I often knew nothing about but spoke of in a quiet and dignified and authoritative way nonetheless.
I don’t expect everyone I have let down to forgive me right away, though that would make my life a whole lot easier. Forgiveness, like a good chicken stock, is a thing that can take time, especially when you don’t deserve it. But I am willing to spend as much time as it takes compelling people to forgive me so I can get myself out of this mess, even if that means going on Oprah and abasing myself for the pleasure of her audience. Since earning all that forgiveness will be so time consuming, and as an act of contrition, I herewith resign from all boring committee work and any charitable activities so that I can dedicate myself more fully to clearing my name.
When I spoke to my workers the other day and told them I could not help weed the carrots because I had to let the puppy out, I was telling them something true. We do have a puppy, a ten-week-old St. Bernard, and he most certainly has to be taken outside pretty regularly, even if that means I have to miss out on some carrot weeding.
But that was not the whole truth. While it was true that our actual puppy actually needed to go outside, I may have misled my workers concerning my whereabouts since I was in fact not with the puppy but in North Dakota seeing another farm. I am not proud of this and it is hard to admit since it makes me seem like such a creep and nobody likes looking like a creep. I am, however, compelled to admit the truth now because I have been caught and my public relations people say it is better to deal with the scandal than sit around doing nothing and hoping it will go away. Which is why I am standing here now accepting responsibility for my actions and asking that they be forgiven without really admitting to anything specific.
I don’t particularly mind that politicians across this great nation have entered into a spirited competition to make complete asses of themselves. If that is what keeps them amused, fine. But maybe they should have told us first so that we could more fully appreciate their efforts and aims. The unpleasantness that has arisen recently stems from our failure to recognize that they are attempting not so much to govern as to embarrass themselves.
Now that we understand the game we can feel a real sense of pride as New Yorkers in our State Senate, which has shown remarkable dedication in striving for victory. Lesser legislatures would have balked by now. But not our fearless representatives, who forge ahead blindly into uncharted realms of self-serving incompetence, determined to spare us no expense in their pursuit of power.
I cannot help getting the feeling that some institution very like the New York State Senate has control of the weather at the moment. Unwilling to agree on which way to move the low pressure system plaguing us this week, they leave it in place, subjecting us every day to further afflictions. And just when you think that surely the consequences of inaction have caused enough havoc that they will feel compelled to act, something worse comes along. Something like the storm yesterday afternoon, an evil monsoon wandering far from its native clime. By my rough estimate it dropped around three million cubic feet of water on the farm in the course of an hour. On the bright side, I have a pretty good idea now of precisely where ditches are prone to overflow into fields, and we won’t have to water the greenhouses for quite some time. And if I failed yesterday to note some of the spots prone to flooding, well maybe I will get another chance today. Or tomorrow.
It is too soon to say precisely what effect this deluge and all the other relentless wet weather will have on the crops, though I can pretty well guarantee that it is not doing them any good. Plants like to breathe and don’t find doing so underwater much easier than we do. Even the weeds look a trifle piqued. I am seriously contemplating moving the whole farm to a sandy hilltop, but I have not worked out the details of the move yet. Perhaps I will refer the matter to the State Senate for action.
In the meantime, we managed to find a few less than completely saturated vegetables for you this week, most of them familiar, though I trust still welcome. The squash (by which I mean both summer squash and zucchini) have kindly added their modest efforts to the offering. It is hard, I admit, to get too excited by a squash—they would have to have a lot more flavor to merit excitement—but I like them sliced and grilled and dressed with a little vinaigrette and basil—particularly cold on a sandwich, perhaps with some garlic scape pesto and cheese.
Endives, I know, often meet with a less than enthusiastic response. But I think frisee (the head of frilly leaves) deserves attention, even from people who shy away from bitter greens. Not only do the leaves look pretty in a salad, but they also add a note—well, let’s be honest, a bitter note—that highlights—to good effect in my opinion—the lettuce’s sweetness. Or you can cook your frisee and mix it with sautéed scapes to make nice garlicky greens. If that’s not compelling enough, bear in mind that it is good for you. You can also use it as a pompom and possibly do a little light dusting with it.
Or use it to threaten your Senator. Perhaps the threat of bitter greens is just the thing to get the Senate back to work. It is worth a try. Obviously a sense of public duty, wide spread derision, the need to pass legislation and a judge’s order don’t have any effect. And if endive fails too, why not bean them with a big kohlrabi.
